Please pass the yams, I mean avocado

Easter is a time when family and friends come together to eat delicious food, drink good wine and after a few hours, pull the Tupperware out of the fridge and do it all over again. It's like Thanksgiving minus the football.

When these things are not possible, I suggest making the below simple dishes and eating them while watching a DVD with a holiday or birthday theme (for example, "Steele Magnolias" begins and ends with an egg hunt).

Easter Pie

• Take box of Jiffy Pie Crust, add water, roll into two crusts (vegetarians should cross out “lard” on the ingredients list).
• For the filling:
  o Take one package (20 oz) of dehydrated cherries shipped to you from Lee
  o Hydrate them in honey, flaked almonds, juice from 1.5 limes, about ¾ cup water and a little sugar.
• Place bigger pie crust in bottom of 9” pie pan (or metric equivalent), add filling and then the top pie crust. Cut a lion’s face through the crust for ventilation and effect.
• Pop into oven until smoke rises.
  
  
  Easter Guacamole
  
  
• Take two avocados, one tomato, one small green pepper, two small onions and a wee bit of jalapeño-style pepper
• Cut and mush together
• Add salt
• Stick in fridge
  
  

  Now, for the entrée:
  

  Easter Quesadilla
  
  
• Defrost two tortillas brought to you by a friend from a major city
• Thinly slice Archer White Cheddar cheese (after aging it nicely in your fridge)
• Layer the cheese between the tortillas and heat until cheese-oil forms a shallow puddle
• Tip quesadilla sideways and drain oil
• Cut quesadilla into six wedges (for this, you will need a knife that is sharper than your quesadilla)
• Top with chilled pineapple
  

Eat the above dishes in the sequence of your choice and with the DVD of your choice, but don’t forget to call your mother.