License to swat

I am not a very violent person by nature. But this weekend I found a deadly contraption that even I can love: a mosquito racket.

This little invention takes two AA batteries and turns them into a tractor beam of destruction for the little critters that bite me in the night. The package reads:

“Once the mosquito get in touch with the swatter net, it certainly will not be able to escape, it may be either drawn into the inner net or fastened by static force…and it will eventually get...zapped immediately.”

I took that as a license to swat.

So with my radio blaring, I harnessed my inner-Martina and swatted my way from one end of the house to the other. Unfortunately, in the first half hour the only thing I managed to electrocute was myself, and I had to pin mosquitoes against the window in order to get them later in the evening (I surprised even myself by being as inept with a mosquito racket as I am with a tennis racket; something I didn’t know was possible).

So while it may seem a “backhanded” thing to do, brandishing the mosquito racket is a great way to relieve stress, get exercise, prepare for my inevitable doubles match when Martina is next in town, and improving the health of me and my neighbors - perhaps even saving lives.

So maybe I don't have what it takes on the grass court, but the moves I am making around the house are improving health standards and - who knows - maybe even increasing the life expectancy in Kigoma (of people, not mosquitoes). I would like to see Roger Federer make the same case for his game.